Picture credit : Clay Banks
Vulnerability sounds like Truth and feels like Courage
Brene brown
Vulnerability and insecurity are two concepts that tend to go hand-in-hand in today’s world, with people sometimes believing they are one and the same. However, while they both do impact your social life, they actually have very different meanings and can be confusing if you don’t know the difference between them. Also, Realising and understanding what exactly you are feeling is the first step towards bettering your emotional intelligence. This guide will help you understand vulnerability and insecurity, as well as how you can use them to improve your relationships, particularly your romantic relationship if you’re in one at the moment.
What is Vulnerability
If you think vulnerability is same as weakness you are in a wrong but good company. Many people confuse vulnerability with weakness. On the contrary, vulnerability is a sign of strength. Simply put, Being vulnerable means accepting your shortcomings as part of your personality. Vulnerable people do not try to hide their shortcomings( some truly shortcomings and some as perceived by the society, though they effect little personally) inspite of being afraid of getting hurt.
What is Insecurity
Insecurity is a lack of self-confidence or assurance. This arises from the awareness of one’s shortcomings along with the constant fear of getting hurt because of those limitations. It can be characterized by an inability to trust oneself, others, or one’s surroundings. Insecure people are constantly afraid of being looked down upon or left out by others because of their weaknesses. They are further stressed as they feel the need to comuflage their shortcomings all the time.
What are the signs of Vulnerability
The word vulnerability in our culture is often associated with weakness. However, to be vulnerable can also mean to be open and honest. Being vulnerable means you are not afraid to show the world who you really are and what you are going through. This can be a scary thing, but it is worth it because being vulnerable takes courage. In order for relationships to work, both partners need to feel safe enough to be vulnerable with one another. If you can tick off these basic signs of vulnerability, You must be proud of your relationship;
- You feel safe sharing your deepest feelings with your partner. Not just about how others made you feel but you feel free and understood even when you share how your partner’s behavior or comments hurt you.
- You don’t shy away from showing your weaknesses from each other. Everyone on this face of earth isn’t good at all things. When you are in a relationship that allows you to talk about and work on your limitations without being afraid that your partner may think less of you or worse, leave you…You know your relationship is strong.
- You aren’t afraid to express your expectations from your partner. Most often than not many fights happen because the other person doesn’t know what is expected of them. When you have the safe space to vulnerable in your relationship you have the uninhibited freedom to freelu express what you expect from your partner, even in the matters pertaining to the bedroom!
What are the signs of Insecurity
Insecurity stems from negative thoughts about oneself that causes one to be self-conscious. When insecurities are left unchecked, it can lead to feelings of low self-esteem or depression. And it takes an adverse toll on your romantic relationships as well. Look out for the below signs in your relationship; if it is you who is feeling insecure work on yourself and learn to be self compassionate. If you notice them in your partner, be kind and help them navigate towards self acceptance.
- Constant need for physical touch isn’t always cute. The partner who is feeling insecure may crave for this constant touch inorder to feel loved and comfort themselves off their fear of abandonment.
- Long Distance Relationships aren’t their thing. It may not be permanent even a short business trips can make them uncomfortable. They can go to the lengths of ‘creating’ situations where they will travel to be with their partner.
- Damsel/Swain in distress; Neediness is as real as it can get when you are in a relationship with an insecure person. Even before they put in bare minimum efforts to try and fix something they will turn to you for comfort and getting it done.
Differences between being Vulnerable and Insecure : Here
5-Ways to over come insecurity in Relationships : Here
In closing, Being vulnerable may allow you to experience true intimacy in a relationship, but it also leaves you open to judgment and criticism. On the other hand, being insecure will keep you from opening up for fear of rejection. However, It is always better to live with acceptance and courage rather than in constant fear !
