The envious die not once, but as oft as the envied win applause
Baltasar Gracián
Though the words envy and jealousy are used interchangeably, They are quite different if not completely opposite. Not to mention even the dictionary definitions of these words do not help understanding them any better.
Now, Why do we need to understand the difference?
To improve our emotional intelligence, the first step would be to understand what exactly we are feeling. We stay irked all day just saying I am not comfortable or frustrated and never once trying to pin point at exactly what we are feeling. So understanding what Envy and jealousy exactly mean will help us in identifying them when we feel them and there by help us in handling these emotions better.
Raj saw David walk in and thought “I wish I was as handsome as him”.
Busi saw her boyfriend dancing with another girl at the Bar and complained to Kim “I am not comfortable that my boyfriend is dancing with another woman”
In the first scenario, Raj wants to be as handsome as David. Which means that Raj doesn’t feel that he is as good looking as David. Raj is craving for something that he doesn’t have. The emotion that Raj is feeling towards David is ENVY.
In the second scenario, Busi is afraid that the closeness between her boyfriend and the girl at the bar might lead to loosing her boyfriend. she already has something and she is apprehensive that she might loose it. Here the emotion Busi experiencing is JEALOUSY.
Though we feel comfortable sharing the fact that we are jealous, It is rare that anyone would admit being envious. Because the only thing you can do when envious is either move on or just wish for the person you are envious of loose the quality that you envy. But When you are jealous there is actually something you can do about it. Unlike envy if you are jealous that your friend bought a new house, you can at some point buy your own house by saving more money.
