People with Narcissistic personality disorder have an inflated sense of their own importance, a lack of empathy for others , a deep need for excessive attention and admiration and troubled relationships. Inspite of the confidence they project they are infact highly vulnerable to the slightest criticism.
Though the above definition might seem like it fits few people you know, you shouldn’t be labeling people narcissist just like that. One can be diagnosed only by a psychologist or a psychiatrist. It is a recognised mental condition under Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) which was incuded in its third edition in 1980.
Narcissism is not about self love. It’s a clinical trait that belies a deep sense of emptiness, low self-esteem, emotional detachment, self-loathing, extreme problems with intimacy.
Drew Pinsky
You may start seeing changes in your partner after you have gotten too deep with them; He/She starts blaming you for everything and when you try to point out the reality they will start calling you names or take you on a guilt trip, In the name of affection and wanting to spend time with you they isolate you from your family and friends, and somehow blame you for all their shortcomings. But at the beginning of your relationship, they would have given you a very high and false picture of your future together, the love and attention shown towards you made them irresistible. The below ten traits will act as a checklist for you inorder to understand if your partner has narcissistic traits;
- Your partner doesn’t listen to your concerns or opinions. They will cut you short and start talking about their problems.
- Makes you constantly wonder if you are good enough for them by always trying to make you feel unfit or beneath them.
- Your partner is very controlling of what you do and don’t. They focus heavily on their image.
- The first thoughts of them when you meet with something life changing( like meeting with an accident or job loss) are how it would effect them. They don’t show any concern for YOUR loss.
- Irrespective of the situation and outcome, They are always RIGHT. They refuse any form of criticism.
- They constantly crave for and demand attention. They must be the center of all gatherings and conversations.
- They are good to you only when people around can see them being that way.
- They lack empathy but assume that everyone is jealous of them.
- You will notice that they do not have long term friends. But people who meet them find them irresistibly charming.
- They WILL gaslight you. They will manipulate you into thinking that what you think and feel are not valid.
